Thanksgiving: US Style

Many cultures have days of gratitude. Some are somber and religious; others are tied to the bounty of the year’s harvest. Some are flexed according to lunar calendars; some are on a fixed day. In the United States of America, Thanksgiving Day, T-day, Turkey Day, is on the fourth Thursday of November.

The days surrounding Thanksgiving are the year’s biggest travel period, as we

• pile into planes, trains, buses, and automobiles,
• to gather the family, (“Over the river and through the woods to grandmother’s house we go”),
• to watch the big New York City parade, full of floats with young women underdressed for the weather and too many inflated balloons of Disney and Marvel Universe characters, once called Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, after the department store that sponsored it, now shortened to the Macy’s Day Parade,
• to overindulge in food (“Please pass the wine, turkey, and mashed potatoes, in that order… “Is there any more beer?” “Hurrah for the pumpkin pie.”),
• and televised American football, (rugby-shaped ball, game reminiscent of eighteenth century warfare combined with gladiatorial combat),
• to avoid uncomfortable conversations, (“Lovely weather…. How ‘bout them Steelers…”),
• then collapse in tryptophan-induced-food-comas,
• to head home loaded with Tupperware brim-filled with turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce…. “Please take some more mashed potatoes, we don’t need all of these.”),
• get up the next morning, step on the scale, oh, so, reluctantly,
• dash off to the mall for Black Friday Deals on electronics, and the latest IT-Toy for the kids this year,
• continue binge shopping on Small Business Saturday and get stuck-in-your chair for Cyber Monday, when Deals move online,
• all the while stuffing our faces with leftovers and suddenly swamping our ears with “Deck-the-halls-Jingle-bells-Frosty-the snowman” muzak.

“Do you really do all that?”

“Some of the people, all of the time… all of the people, some of the time… not all of the people, all of the time.”

Of course, too many in America don’t share this experience, because they are without a home or family, or money, or food. And for those who feel guilty, soup kitchen T-day volunteer lists fill up the year before and go wanting the rest of the year.

For far too many of the rest of us, T-day starts the mad-dash-to-blind-consumerism-holidays, which will leave us fatter, hung-over, staring at credit card bills in January, wondering if we can afford our much-needed-newly purchased-gym-membership, which we’ll use until mid-February.

Was that what was intended?

Origins: Myths and facts

In school we were taught about the Plymouth Pilgrims, who came on the Mayflower, blown off course from their intended Jamestown destination. We were told they were all Puritans seeking religious freedom, but only some were Separatists and most were just seeking free land. We were told they all wore buckles on their shoes and tall black hats; that particular fashion statement was created by artists and illustrators in the nineteenth century.

These Pilgrims signed the Mayflower Compact. This was a diverse group, and they had landed in a place far outside their Royal Charter. They needed some rules. They reaffirmed their allegiance to the king, and agreed to be ruled by laws devised, and approved by a majority of themselves. This is a pretty special first step towards self-government, but perhaps not the foundation of the US Constitution as some elementary school “history” books taught.

The 102 Pilgrims arrived at what is now Provincetown harbor at the tip of Cape Cod, in mid-November, looked around, and then finally landed at Plymouth Rock on December 21, 1620, not a hospitable time to settle in New England. They probably brought ashore their remaining provisions, hunted game, and built shelters, but they might not have survived without the help of native peoples.

The Pilgrims must have been surprised that there were already people living here. The indigenous population, the Wampanoag,  were friendly enough. Their headman, Massasoit, Sachem saw a potential ally. Pilgrims thought his name was Massasoit, but that was really his title. The chief’s name was Osamequin, which means Yellow Feather. Coincidentally, my first YMCA sleepaway camp was named for him:

“On Lake Monponsett’s muddy shore, where Massasoit roamed of yore, now come stout hearted boys and men, to dwell at Camp Osamequin.”

(Funny what sticks in memory.)

The Wompanoag had been decimated by a plague, maybe small pox. Osamequin was looking for some help fighting the Narragansett, who were trying to take advantage of his people’s weakened state. After some initial acts of good will, Osamequin approached John Carver and together they created the first American treaty. It was a non-aggression and mutual defense pact. Let’s leave our weapons at home, not hurt each other, and come to each other’s aid. A side benefit was that the natives agreed to share farming techniques.

“Why plant your seeds in rows? Inviting small animals to the salad bar? Why not plant in mounds with maize in the center, giving the beans the stalks to climb, and protecting the new shoots with squash vines around the perimeter?”

“Hmmm. Maybe you savages ain’t so dumb after all?”

The main event of the Thanksgiving myth is true. There was a feast harvest in November of 1621 where the Pilgrims and native people broke bread, and said prayers of thanks. There is speculation as to whether it was a pre-planned event or just happened spontaneously.

Over time the treaty fell apart. Mayflower people came for the free land to own, and natives viewed the land as a sacred shared resource. Things got nasty. By 1630 mutual defense had morphed into an Indian Defense Committee. We weren’t taught that part in elementary school.

The myth was published in a pamphlet in London in 1622, perhaps as a recruiting document for the colony, portraying warm and friendly natives and grateful colonists. It caught on. In 1883 Thanksgiving Day was proclaimed, though it was celebrated on different days in the various states. In 1941, President Roosevelt locked it down to the fourth November Thursday.

The myth ignored all the murder and mayhem we visited on indigenous people since.

Thanksgiving, humility and gratitude are good ideas

These concepts are in most religions:

• “It is better to light one small candle of gratitude than to curse the darkness,” – Confucius
• “Gratitude is the memory of the heart,” – Lao Tzu
• “Contentment leads to gratitude” – Bhagavad Gita
• “You have no cause for anything but gratitude and joy,” – Buddha
• “Make a joyful noise unto the Lord… enter into his gates with thanksgiving”– Psalm 100
• “Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will,”– Paul’s letter to the Thessalonians
• “Should I not be a grateful servant?” – the Prophet Muhammad

I maintain that good leaders are first humble. They recognize that they need the ideas and work of others to achieve their vision and are grateful. They say “Thank you” more than they say “You’re welcome.” Good teachers are grateful for students; students are grateful someone has shown interest.

Some of us have fewer blessings than others. For those in a war zone, survival today may be a blessing. Old men like me are thankful to awaken looking at the green side of the grass.

Gratitude as a practice

Last year on Turkey Day each of my gathered family stated one thing they were grateful for before we ate. This verbal thanksgiving was powerful as even the youngest child spoke for about 30 seconds. We were all grateful for family, love and the bounty put before us and for one particular blessing to us, a new friend, the kind words of a reader, a project gone well, and a small contribution to those standing for peace. I hope we repeat this practice on Thursday.

Some years ago, a friend of my youngest daughter, put up a website, where you could enter three counted blessings every day. I participated for a while and recognized that it greatly improved my outlook.

I have many advantages: My living space doesn’t let in the weather. I have the freedom to overeat and shun exercise. I have a comfortable retirement. I enjoy the love of my wife, sister, my children and grandchildren, even when they wish I’d shut up and listen more. I am grateful for all who read my ramblings in my books, blog, LinkedIn, BizCatylst 360°, beBee, All Things Interesting, and Medium. And I am mostly vertical, and a few paces ahead of the Reaper. Thanks be!

Perhaps, the greatest practice, is to pass on what one is grateful for in actions, sharing a meal with those who don’t have one, changing a tire for a stranded motorist, small acts of kindness, done daily. I don’t do enough of that. I resolve to do more, but promise not to brag about it in next year’s Thanksgiving epistle.

A joyous Thanksgiving Day to all that celebrate this week. May we all please practice humility, kindness, and gratitude more next year. Thank you for reading and for all that you do.