I awoke this morning with Jeff Foxworthy on my mind. Foxworthy is a stand-up comedian, a part of the Blue Collar Comedy tour, the author of four books, an actor in thirteen movies and thirty-six television shows and series, and counting. What I remember him for is the way he created humor from a slur that Northern city folk threw at rural Southerners.

“If. . . you have more cars in your driveway. . . and ‘specially more wrecked cars on your front lawn . . . than you have people in your house     . . . you might be . . . a redneck.”

Foxworthy took a derogatory term, owned it himself, got his audience to laugh, while admitting that they “might be a redneck”. . . and feel pride and maybe clean the front lawn. Quite a feat.

But why I woke up thinking about Jeff Foxworthy related more to leadership and management.

“Everyone thinks they’re a leader; nobody wants to manage or be managed. Everyone here has a ‘vision,’ but shit ain’t getting done!”

I remember my client’s frustration. His post-merger integration wasn’t going according to plan. He wasn’t handling it well. He did put his finger on the difference between two distinct skillsets, leadership and management. Leaders clarify direction and attract followers; managers get shit done. In business, and especially in change you need both skillsets.

If you read articles in the business press, or the books of numerous business professors, or dilletante blogs (including this one), you’ll read plenty of words like:

“Vision, mission, values,  clarity, discipline, accountability, development,

recognition and reward, gratitude, empathy, loyalty, trust, caring, service,

inspiration, empowerment, commitment, personal responsibility, example,

et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, and so on and so forth.”

And if you read social media about people’s experiences at work, sure, there are some laudatory posts about so-and-so “who changed my life” that use words like those above, but all too frequently you read the misfortunes of the misled and mismanaged using words like:

“Jerk, narcissist, egomaniac, asshole, psychopath, bastard, sociopath, bitch, autocrat, jackass or some variant from the following matrix:

Apparently too many leaders and managers just don’t know they are the BadBoss and can’t laugh at their own foibles to begin the process of change.

So I thought I’d try a Foxworthy:

If . . . no one can do anything as well as you can, . . . you might be . . . a BadBoss.

If . . . you’re ALWAYS in the office or plant after everyone else has gone home,

. . . you might be . . . a BadBoss

If . . . everyone . . . gives you compliments . . . and laughs at ALL your jokes, . . .

. . . you might be . . . a BadBoss.

If. . . you “have no problem with the tough jobs” like squeezing a supplier or letting people go,

. . . you might be . . . a BadBoss.

If. . .  people stop their conversations to greet you . . . EVERY time you walk into a room,

. . . you might be . . . a BadBoss.

If . . . people always have an answer for any negative variance from budget,

and you have very few conversations when things are going well,

. . . you might be . . . a BadBoss.

If. . . you’re NEVER the last one to leave work, and your golf handicap is coming down,

. . . you might be . . . a BadBoss.

If . . . “My door is always open”  is a regular phrase in your work vocabulary,

. . . you might be . . . a BadBoss.

If you NEVER hear bad news until it’s BAD and then they tell you as a team from across the room,

. . . you might be . . . a BadBoss.

If . . . you often hear yourself say “Where did you get that idea?” or “That’s not what I meant!”

. . . you might be . . . a BadBoss.

If. . . every time you say something nice, people stand around awkwardly. . . waiting for the “but”

. . . you might be . . . a BadBoss.

If your team ALWAYS sets “stretch goals” that they NEVER make,

. . . you might be . . . a BadBoss.

If . . . people always do what you want, sure maybe you have to scowl like you’re about to explode, but you’ve mastered that skill and, in the end, they always do what you want,

. . . you might be . . . a BadBoss.

If . . . you hear yourself say. . . “You know, it’s always the same people who do all the special projects,” . . . and then you realize. . . “they didn’t volunteer, I picked them,”

. . . you might be . . . a BadBoss.

If . . .  your door is always closed. . . you might be . . . a BadBoss.

If . . . you say, “This way gang, let’s go”. . . and you look over your shoulder and no one’s there, … you might be . . . a BadBoss.

If . . . you’re the boss, and there was any “ouch” in your laughter, as Jeff Foxworthy would say:

“Check Your Neck.”