R U a but-head?

Leaders require followers

“If you think you’re a leader look over your shoulder. If there is no one there, you might just be delusional.”

“I get what you’re saying, but. . .”

I was delivering leadership development; it wasn’t really training per se. Oh we did apply some new knowledge and practice some skills, but the real purpose was to communicate to a  group of middle managers that their corporation was undergoing tremendous change and they would need to step up and lead the change for their people.

I did my simplified differentiation between management and leadership:

• Managers are accountable for getting the work done, and developing their people to ensure that. They often work in a relatively steady state environment.
• Leaders work in abnormal circumstances. The military often talks about leadership because what could be more abnormal than war. In business abnormal circumstances are emergencies and times of change. Then leaders are accountable for direction and attracting followers. “Hey -this way -follow me!”

I went on to tell the participants that they had both responsibilities, but that the new circumstances required their leadership and emphasized the importance of followers and made my little quip about looking over your should to be sure people were following. It was a laugh line and it got some chuckles, but it also produced a  “. . .but.”

From a workshop point of view this “but” was terrific. (“Oh good a discussion.” I said to myself). It was a rich discussion and it went on a little longer than I thought it would. The inquisitive manager kept interjecting his signature phrase, “I get what you’re saying, but. . .”

Finally someone interrupted him, “Bob, don’t be a but-head!” The group exploded in laughter.

I was perplexed and they explained to me that they were echoing some training in another class, (Diversity? Creativity?) They had been advised to replace the word “But” with the word “And” and to remind them the facilitator. had said “Don’t be a but-head.”

I’ve heard this advice many times since, and this was the first time I’d heard it. We continued the discussion, making some points relevant to the leaders need followers point.

• But divides the conversation whereas And joins it
• Leaders need to promote unity among followers
• Either / or choices are sometimes necessary; more often Both / And is a more appropriate way to draw in more followers.

We moved on in the workshop, and the “Don’t be a but-head” comment became a running joke over the week. I was amazed how such a simple concept had captured the imagination of the group and had many applications to leading change.

Don’t be a but-head

But and And are both conjunctions, grammatically they join two ideas. And pulls two ideas together. But separates the two ideas. I was told by a co-worker early in my career how to get through performance appraisals.

“Listen for the ‘But” everything before the ‘but’ is B.S. What follows the ‘But’ is what they want you to pay attention to.”

I took this to heart and probably missed a lot of positive feedback over the years. It probably added mass to the chip on my shoulder toward managers and anyone with authority over me.

Imagine the change in effect of:

“Alan you get things done, and bring in projects on time and on budget, and I want you to work on ensuring that an editor goes over your writing before we go live.”

 

“I love the creativity of this approach. I think it will make a huge difference to the client, and I want you to gather more feedback about possible downsides.

So a leader might avoid saying “But” when there are two very valid points to communicate and you want both to be heard equally.

Another circumstance to avoid “But” is in any kind of divergent thinking. When we are trying to expand thinking or increase the quantity of information or ideas “Buts” get in the way. The most obvious example is brainstorming. “Great idea, but. . .” has the effect of shutting down idea generation.

In any discovery discussions, as when you are gather data about customer needs or the causes of an accident “And. . ?” says “Tell me more;” “But says stop and change your information,” or “I disagree with you.”

When anyone says to me “I hear what you’re saying, but. . .” I expect a counter argument. If someone were to say “I see what you’re saying and. . .” I’d expect agreement and perhaps action toward a solution.”

When but-heads are needed

Someone in the class made the leap that managers were ‘but-head’ but leaders were “and heads.” I said I didn’t know that that was true and I could think of times when the division of the “but” was really necessary in times of change.

Anytime a group is doing convergent thinking, testing a plan, searching for risks or unintended consequences, a but-head mentality shines.

“I see from the sales projections that this product will experience a thirty percent increase in sales in year four, but what is that projection actually based upon?”

 

“I see that we are increasing gas production four-fold by a combination multiple well drilling, an water injection into the reservoir, but have we tested the stability of the limestone barrier that separates the reservoir from the aquifer?”

 

“I understand that we can speed nuclear missile response time with an autonomous AI response system based upon satellite imagery of enemy silo launch, but exactly how confident are we in the accuracy of the satellite imaging system this is based upon?”

 

“I know our truck customer survey data indicates strong buying intentions for electric vehicles, but have we mapped customers by region vs. the availability of 220 volt lines on the existing grid and the density of new charging stations?”

 

So is being a but-head a matter of timing? Maybe. It is definitely a skillset that is more useful at the end of an innovation process. I think it may be more about the purpose of your communication.

Are you trying to improve quality, weed out the uncommitted, test for risk, including bias, or unintended consequences? Maybe saying “But” and uncoupling two somewhat unlike ideas is a good idea.

Are you trying to bring people on board as followers? Are you trying to generate ideas, or discover fact and opinion, ensure that all data has been looked at?

Then “Don’t be a but-head.”