August 2024

The Change Mindset

by Alan Culler | Aug 28, 2024 | Leading, Uncategorized

Immigrants

“That dust was everywhere. It got in your eyes, up your nose so you couldn’t draw a breath. So you breathed through your mouth and the grit was always on your teeth and crunched with everything you ate. The quarry slowed and there were no jobs, and then – America, the land of golden sidewalks beckoned.”

My friend Stella, retold her father’s tale of how he came to leave Carrara, Italy, origin of the famous marble and move to Boston. I’ve heard versions of this story several times, from Indians, Mexicans, and Brazilians. An Englishman once told me,

“Americans just seemed so carefree, not at all stuffy like everyone I knew at home. I came on holiday and resolved to come back to stay.”

My Pittsburgh haircutter Mico told succinctly how his family emigrated from Calabria.

“They had the dream and the dream made what they had seem like nothing.”

Immigrants may be the best example of people choosing life altering change. They reject where they live and move to an uncertain promise of opportunity. These are the three elements of a change mindset:

Rejection of the status quo (case for change)
Promise of the future (Vision)
Choice (people may reject “your” change if they feel it’s imposed upon them, but if they choose, then it’s “their” change).

Of course, you have to act. You have to sell what you own, get visas, buy tickets, get on the boat. No change happens until you do something, but action without the right mindset is unlikely to succeed.

Those who’ beat addiction through the AA 12-step process know the importance of steps 1-3:

“Admit you are powerless over alcohol”(acknowledge “rock bottom” reject status quo)
Believe a higher Power can restore us to sobriety (a powerful vision)
Decide to turn our will and our lives (buy the ticket – commit to change)

The remaining steps are all about actions, but the mindset is critical.

The Formula

Change equals dissatifaction with staus quo time vision of the future times first steps greater than resistance to change. This formula for change is usually credited to Richard Beckhard who published it in 1977 in Organizational Transitions. The formula was developed by David Gleicher while at consulting firm Arthur D. Little.

Dissatisfaction (rejection of the status quo) the push of change, times the pull of change (vision), times first steps must exceed resistance to change. In the original it was the cost of change, In 1980 Catherine Dannemiller changed cost to resistance and in 2014 Steve Cady added an S for supporting capability to sustain the change.

What I like about the formula is that it lays out the mindset (push and pull) and actions necessary to overcome the inertia of status quo. Also the formula is not additive, but multiplicative demonstrating the exponential difficulty of change.

There is both the dissatisfaction (rejection of the status quo) and the vision (future promise). The dissatisfaction if often called the “compelling case for change – the why and why now, and what we can’t stay the same. I described this as the “burning platform” till I worked in the upstream oil and gas industry where that term is too painful.

I have seen leaders in business and politics lean into the threat of not changing -the ‘road to ruin,” end of life as we know it pitch. Danger can scare us into action, but over time constant threat gets normalized, doom and gloom depresses people, fear freezes people and action is forgotten.

Vision led change is always better and more lasting than threat-driven The grit of marble dust might wear your teeth and spirit down but without the “golden sidewalk” you don’t get on the ship. Wallowing in rock bottom does nothing without the pull of a sober lifestyle.

Vision statements are often emotion laden and sensory rich.

“The land of milk and honey”

“We hold these truths to be self-evident. . .all men are created equal. . .life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. . . We the People.”

“I have a dream.”

Dissatisfaction pushes; vision pulls you. Dissatisfaction, rejecting the current state, is reality-based problem definition. Vision is opportunity and solution finding.

A vision isn’t a daydream. “Pie in the sky by and by” doesn’t cut it for long. There must be a plan and milestones, and mid-journey measures to show your change is proceeding as planned.

What happens when you know you can’t go on the way things are, you must change, but what you are changing to is unclear? How can you “leap empty-handed into the void?” Big change is often like this. We think we know the opportunity, but, if we are clear-eyed, we also see the risk. The phrase ‘jumping from the frying pan into the fire” is a cliché because it happens frequently.

Entering the “unknown unknown” arena, where “we don’t know what we don’t know” relies on values:

Do what is right –“Clean air and water” “Remove shortcomings. . .make amends,” “Taking care of customers,” “People matter and results count.”
Resilience – “we’ll get through this,” “we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it,” one day at a time.”
Support –“ What if the sky should fall? As long as we’re together, it really doesn’t matter at all.”

The push from dissatisfaction, rejection of status quo, the pull of vision and the opportunity that opens to values, must overcome what Beckhard and Gleicher called resistance to change.

Resistance may be to imposed change that people haven’t chosen. Resistance may be fear of loss in the unknown. Resistance may be plain old inertia. Remember Newton’s First Law of motion “A body in motion tends to stay in motion and a body at rest tends to stay at rest unless acted upon by an outside force.”
That’s why the formula included first steps, reducing friction, ignoring gravity, kicking yourself in the butt to do something – Action focus -Try-it-fix it-try-it-again

Change mind-set first, bolstered by values, followed by action, is the only path. And if you find you’ve jumped from the frying pan into the fire?

Get out of the fire. Stop the bleeding. Get everyone to a safe position. Spread honey on your wounds. Refocus, Persist and Persevere.

Going Independent Redux: Avoiding 5 Bone-Headed Mistakes

by Alan Culler | Aug 20, 2024 | Consulting

I chose to become an independent consultant twice in my lifetime consulting career. I must have liked it because I was independent in various forms for twenty-three of my thirty-seven years in the field.

The first time my boss gave me the opportunity to go on contract for a year, work about half-time, control my schedule and attempt to save my marriage. I did some of those things, but I didn’t work half-time and I didn’t save my marriage. I did control my schedule some and while I didn’t say “No” enough, I loved the autonomy. After the year was up I supplemented work with my former firm with new local clients so I could be close to my children as they grew up and stayed independent for eight years.

It was a magic time. My vision was to “change the world of work.” I look back now and smile at how preciously naïve I was. But I had fun, stayed home enough, sub-contracted to my old boss, who was then independent too, and found local clients courtesy of friends. This brings me to my first mistake.

Bone-Headed Mistake # 1: Not saying “No”

I mentioned that during my “save-my-marriage” contract year I worked more than the half-time I committed to and failed at the “save-my-marriage” objective. There were other reasons. I did work less than the hundred-hour weeks I had been working, but the work was interesting and the money more than I’d ever earned so I didn’t say “No” when I slid over half-time. I made the same bone-headed mistake several times in my independent career.

In the lead-up to the 1991-2 recession, I was preaching to my clients about recession-proofing their business, using the example of a trucking firm’s rule FBO 50, keeping at least fifty percent of their business in food, booze, and oil, recession-proof customers. My own client mix was 100% two clients, consulting and radio advertising. These two recession sensitive industries felt the pinch. My revenue went to zero.

Bone-Headed Mistake # 2:Taking your eye off the Revenue Cliff.

During this same period same period I had a rule “always save twenty percent of time for marketing.” I preached this rule to other aspiring independent consultants. But . . .” the money was good and the work was fun” . . .when projects ended and any follow-on fell prey to the recession, there I was starting from scratch with my two main referral sources suffering from a recession.

I dug my way out of that one, but I ended up taking a sub-contract project in Thailand that involved a very strenuous workload and no time available for marketing. The second “revenue-cliff” arrived about the time I was growing tired of independent consulting downsides, smaller projects, fewer colleagues, constant marketing and the loss of autonomy of subcontract work. I joined Gemini Consulting, which was a good path for me, but it wasn’t until later that I understood the bone-headed mistake that lead me there.

Bone-Headed Mistake # 3: Are you a Gig-Economy Freelancer or a Consultant?

There is no judgement implied here, but you have to choose.

A freelancer does “pair of hands” work, often subcontracting to former employers or small consulting firms. Freelancers tend to be generalists doing whatever needs to be done, trading some autonomy, for the convenience of someone else finding the client.

An independent consultant typically specializes in some core methodologies. She has a process, that is a way of doing the work, including, but not limited to, expert content (industry and discipline -strategy, technology, etc.) or a process methodology (continuous improvement or organization development, etc.). The consultant may work alone or with other independents, but must be good at avoiding Bone-head Mistakes #s 1 & 2.

Truthfully, I struggled with this distinction till later in my career, but my life would have been easier if I’d made the choice earlier. It would have helped me avoid bone-headed mistake #4.

Bone-Headed Mistake # 4: Not Making the ‘Build vs. Buy” Decision Well

This is still a hard choice for me. I like to learn; I am motivated by autonomy. I tend to think I can do anything myself. So I learned to put up this website, rather than hire a web designer as I did previously. Yeah, it took me longer and I didn’t price my time because, well, I’m retired, but it fits a pattern.

As an independent, I did my own administration, billing and bookkeeping, three-finger-typed my own letters, made my own PowerPoint slides. And. . . and this is the important bit. . . When I was overloaded I just knuckled-down to do more work myself when I should have hired another consultant to help.

The second time I became an independent consultant I left a firm after a disagreement with a boss. I took two clients I brought to the firm. I found some subcontract work to supplement and ultimately I took on a partner. Actually Keith found me and we were quite naïve about our collective ability to find new work together. Our break-up was a little messy and a result of poor decision making on bone-headed mistakes #s 1 & 3.

What Keith taught me is the value of hiring help where we needed. Later, when I formed the Results-Alliance and partnered with the late Dr. Richard Taylor, I had learned the value of putting the most skilled resource available on the job.

Independent consultants get stuck, imprisoned by their generalist capabilities and need for personal autonomy and control. They knuckle-down when overloaded and fail to hire help, You might survive that way, but you certainly can’t build a firm that way.

Bone-Headed Mistake # 5: Ignoring Self-Development

The best consulting firms offer internships to undergraduates, hire undergraduates, hire the same people back after they go for an MBA, JD or other graduate degree. The firms train consultants in workshops and in planned deployment on client and firm research projects. These firms provide mentors to guide the up-or out-choice, and the direct client development or thought leader choice.

What does the average independent consultant do? “Uh, I read the Wall Street Journal”

Yeah, it’s like that for some who are scrambling to find and deliver work and riding the revenue rollercoaster off the cliff occasionally.

Someone once told me “You are the product. If the client didn’t buy today, maybe they’ll buy the new and improved edition tomorrow, but expecting anyone to buy the worn-down and wearing-out version isn’t very realistic.” Save time for self-development, reading books, taking courses, working with colleagues who are smart and most especially taking time to reflect on and document what you’re learning. That’s what you’ll be offering tomorrow’s client.

Here’s the good news. I made all these bone-headed mistakes, survived, thrived, and retired to live happily ever after. Yes, really. You can even do better than me if you’re not learning about bone-headed mistakes by making them yourself – again.

Sweetheart, Sweetheart, Sweetheart

by Alan Culler | Aug 18, 2024 | Living

First Love

My first girlfriend was named Coke, not what you’re thinking. We weren’t fifteen year-old white powder fiends. Her real name was Carolyn. The nickname came from her first attempts at saying her name, but it stuck and she introduced herself, “Hi my name is Carolyn, but I’m called Coke.”

We hung out after school, and drank Lime Rickey’s at Brigham’s Ice Cream. Pre-driver’s license, I rode her high school bus and took a public bus home.

The Car

In the fall of 1962 my father was replacing the family wing-finned ’59 Chevrolet. He engaged me in the selection process. I was ecstatic. I subscribed to Road & Track and Car and Driver and owned a ’53 Dodge tinker-car. We went to dealers together and brought home brochures. I had read about the new engine; Pontiac had sawed a 389 V8 in half, a big-bore slanted four cylinder motor. My Day ordered a ’63 Pontiac Tempest, one of the first US front-wheel drive cars, black with a red bucket seats, Quad 4 engine, four speed manual transmission with floor mounted shifter (four-on-the-floor). I convinced my dad to buy the four-barrel carburetor, so much for the miles-per-gallon advantage of four cylinders. I also convinced him to buy seat belts, “for safety,” secretly thinking “like a race car”.

License

In October I got my license on my sixteenth birthday. That took planning only a motivated sixteen year old boy could pull off. I took the written test three months earlier to get a learner’s permit. The high school driver’s ed course wouldn’t be done in time, so I paid for a private course with money from my job at Howard Johnson’s. I rode two buses to class and doubled up on classroom and behind the wheel instruction to be done on time. Then I called the only Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV), with a test on the day.

I was ready. My father started teaching me to drive when I could reach the pedals. My mother rode in the back seat of the Chevy, (the Tempest hadn’t come in yet). A State Trooper rode shotgun. I drove around making left and right turns, checking mirrors, using hand signals and the blinker, doing a three point turn in traffic on a hill. Then came parallel parking on a 30 percent grade into a really tight spot.. I aced it. The trooper was impressed.

“You’ve obviously been practicing that, “he smiled. “OK, you passed. Take us back to the office.. . .. WATCH IT!”

In my elation, I had started to pull out into traffic without looking, almost into another car.

“Alan. Would you rather have your license or your life?”

“my life” I drove back to the DMV dejected.

“Alan, you know how to drive safely, but you can’t let up for a second.”

“yes sir”

“I want you to remember that, always! I am going to give you your license today. . .”

I don’t remember a word that came after that. I don’t remember the drive home, or what my mother and my father said or what I ate for my sixteenth birthday dinner or any of my presents.

I remember when the Pontiac Tempest came into the dealership. My father and I picked it up and he let me drive home.. My father and I loved that car; my mother not-so-much.

The Dance

Coke and I went to a dance the previous spring; my Dad driving us in the Chevy. Instead of a corsage, she preferred a single gardenia blossom, which she wore in her hair. The smell of gardenias still brings back memories.

I was in DeMolay, the Mason’s boys youth group; Coke was in Rainbow girls, the Easter Star girls youth group. February 16, 1963 Rainbow girls held a Sweetheart Dance and I asked Coke to go. I would drive the Pontiac.

I don’t remember the dance or what Coke wore. As we left at around 11:00, it started to snow. I drove her home. We probably kissed in her driveway, but not for long as I had to be off the road by midnight, when my license “turned into a pumpkin” a reference to the Disney Cinderella movie.

And then . . .

The drive home, under five miles, was winter magic. The plows hadn’t been out yet and there was about an inch and a half of new snow on all the roads. Everything was white and streetlights twinkled.

I drove too fast, maybe thirty-five miles per hour, contrary to what I said later. This was New England. My father taught me how to drive in the snow. When you felt the rear end break loose, steer in the direction of the skid till the car righted itself. I may have even been trying for some fishtail action.

The Pontiac Tempest was a front-wheel drive car. Fishtails are a rear-wheel drive phenomenon. Front-wheel drive cars don’t fishtail, they snowplow skid. The front wheels lock in a turned position and you keep going forward.

In the soft fairy-white glitter light sparkling off individual snowflakes, a big oak tree leaped in front of me. I panicked. I stomped both feet on the brakes. The Tempest accelerated. Even now my memory is in slow motion, the tree reaching branches toward me, white lightning streaks in my peripheral vision. The crash, which must have been loud, is soundless.

I don’t remember getting out of the car. A man standing under a porch light yelled “Are you all right?” I was and he yelled that he’d called the police.

“Police?!”

It took every strand of my spinal cord not to run. The police came. I remember the sergeant saying “You were driving this?” I looked at the car for the first time. My bucket seatback had broken off backwards. The steering wheel was where the seatback used to be, there was an engine-shaped bulge between the two front seats and the four-on-the-floor pushed against the back seat.

“I can’t understand why you didn’t go through the windshield,” mused the cop.

“I dunno. Seat belts, I guess.”

“This car has seat belts?”

“Yeah, I talked my father into buying them.”

“Well you can thank your stars for that. Your Dad’s one of those Ward Cleaver types, right?” The father in TV show Leave it to Beaver, was the most understanding father I’ve ever seen.

“Uh-uh.” I shook my head, but it turned out he was, even when the insurance company refused to call the car a total loss, which cost a lot of money, he just said, “Put your car on the road.”

I have been religious about wearing seat belts ever since. My father, even though they saved his son’s life, never liked them and had to be reminded to wear them even after the tickets.

Coke and I broke up about four months later as I discovered that other girls might be interested in me. But as the cop said that night:

“You’ll always remember the Sweetheart Dance, when you hugged a tree on the way home.”

Early Leadership Class

by Alan Culler | Aug 11, 2024 | Leading

There are but Three

“There are but Three,” spoke the Eldest, her bright eyes shining in her creased leather face. “Each is tossed and torn by Sister Wind.”

We’d watched with envy as our brothers and sisters left for the fire-talks of the Clan. Now it was our turn to meet with the Eldest. The Chief’s messenger arrived at half-moon. My father and mother called me to our fire to hear, “You will attend the fire of the Eldest at moon-dark.

The fire in the Eldest’s hut was low and chill crept mouselike through chinks in the daub. We listened, eager for clanship, but secretly wishing for toys and play,.

“Sister Wind is with us always. She pushes and pulls the Three, and you, young ones, it is to you to feel her breath and know when to raise a sail and ride upon her back and when to set a windbreak and hunker till she calms or passes.”

“There are but Three. There are Three stories in your head to listen to, Three heartbeats to dance with, Three spirit sunfires to surge in you and Sister Wind blows them all. There are but Three, The Where, the How, and the Who.”

The Eldest paused. She took a sip from her cup. We looked at each other. I know not what others were thinking but the story in my head said “What?” The Eldest took another sip and, just before my head-story came jumping from my mouth, she continued.

“Some would now ask ‘What?” or perhaps “Why?” Good questions, but I ask that you keep them behind your teeth for now.” The Eldest looked into my eyes and smiled.

“For now let us look at the Three, the campfires Sister Wind puffs out her cheeks, and bellows-like blows upon.

The Where.

“The Where is our home. Our food comes from the Where, from the grains, leaves and flowers that we coax from the earth, and from the animals who give us the blessing of their pelts and flesh. The Mother feeds us, gives us water, shelters us from hot and cold, wet and dry. The Where is a part of the Clan because, as our feet walk upon the land, as we drink and sail her waters, as we look to the sun, moon and stars, we know where we are and from where we come.

The How.

“The How is the knowing and the doing and the tools that help the Clan to live. We forget the How to our peril. There is the knowing of the Where, the seasons and signs, the hard winter that follows fall of many acorns. There is the knowing of the tools, the wheel that grinds and moves the grain. The How is shared from mother and father to son and daughter, from neighbor to neighbor and it sustains the clan.

The Who.

“Many would say the Who is the Clan. That is true, but I urge you, young ones, not start there. Each of us grew in the Where and we learned the How. But before there was a Where or a How there was a You. The Shaman has helped some of you discover the animal who guides your spirit. Some of you may find a part of a Where that nourishes you. Some will let a How define You. But whether you become makun, healun, foodun, hunter, grower, warrior or chief. The clan begins with You.

“You are the Clan and the Clan is You. You share the Where and the How with the Clan and the Clan is your belonging. If you become Trader or travel to other clans, you will learn to see beyond the Clan to People. You head-story may say You-Clan-People, but remember,

‘We are each of us unique, our Clans may differ, but we are all one People.’”

Just then Sister Wind blew a frigid blast and the Eldest got up, put another log on the fire and blew upon it till it caught.

“Sister Wind reminds me I was speaking of her” said the Eldest chuckling.

“I think Sister Wind blows when we are too comfortable. She breathes upon the Three sometimes separately, sometimes all at once in a big storm.

Sister Wind blows upon the Where.

“Perhaps the Feedun tells Council that hunters say the game moved or a grower that a crop has failed. Sometimes the Clan has betrayed the Mother and the Healun says the spring makes us sick.

When Sister Wind blows upon the Where the question will be: Windbreak or Sail? Windbreak should the Clan repair the Earth, or sail, should the Clan or some of us move to a new Where?

If it’s windbreak, the Clan must join together, share the work, and improve. If sail, then whoever moves must know they travel to a new Where and those there are also a clan and group of unique Yous. When you meet, connect with your You to the People and let the understanding of your Clan follow later.

Sister Wind blows upon the How.

“The Maikun may find a new knowing or tool. It is the nature of maikuns to do this. It is also the nature of others to think the old knowing is ‘perfectly fine.’ Remember the miller’s dislike of the water wheel and how he protected his donkey who turned the millstone? When Sister Wind blows upon the How, remember to test the new knowing and not forget the old. Think deeply; sometimes new tools change more than the work they make easier.

Sister Wind blows upon the Who.

“Willow bends before Sister Wind; if she did not, she would break, but she gives not up her Willowness. So You must bend and grow and help others in the Clan to also.

“When Sister Wind blows, it falls upon You to decide: Windbreak or Sail. Then you must win others to that choice. This is when you must tell the Why and the Why Now, and Why the other way will work no longer. Then explain the new Where or How and become a new Who, but give not up your Willowness.”

The fire had burned low again. The Eldest smiled and shooed us home. Sister Wind breathed gently on me, as I pondered my Willowness.

Dream Wisdom

by Alan Culler | Aug 4, 2024 | Living

At the Therapist

“How has the week gone?”

“I don’t know. . . . not going well. . . I’ve been quite anxious. . . can’t get ahead. . . seems to know and is taking the opportunity to be more of a . . .over and over.”

“Are you ready to move on? What happened with. . .?”

“That went well I guess. I mean, I think it’s better, and it’s more . . . and different but I’d have to . . and yeah, there is really nothing holding me . . , but I just feel so stuck. I’m not sleeping and I keep having that dream. I wake up sweating and can’t get back to sleep.”

“Tell me about this dream.”

“I don’t really remember it, I’m in a hallway, or a staircase, I don’t remember. I just get so anxious.”

“Would you be willing to try a little hypnosis. It might help you remember.”

“OK?. . . I mean, I guess. . .You think it means something? I keep having it. . . sure, I guess. . .”

“Let’s try. Sit up. Feet flat on the floor. Close your eyes. Breathe deeply. . . just listen to my voice. . . you are feeling a little drowsy. . . eyelids heavy. . . count backwards from 30. . .29. . . 28. . . hear nothing but the sound of my voice. . . imagine you are sleeping. . . . Are you sleeping?

“Yes”

“Good I want you to enter that dream you keep having. . . nothing in it can hurt you. . . it will be just like going to the movies. . . Are you in the dream now? Nod you head. . . Good tell me about it.”

“I’m walking down a long corridor. . . the walls are stone. . . it looks like a castle or something. . . it’s damp. . .I keep walking. . . I think I’m supposed to. . . I’m going around curves in the corridor. . . I can’t see what’s ahead. . . I have to keep moving. . . There’s something behind me.”

“Turn around and look behind you. What do you see?”

“Nothing. . . . just darkness. . . I have to keep moving. . . faster . . . there’s a staircase, a stone staircase. . . it’s old. . . it doesn’t look safe. . . there’s no hand rail. . . “

“Go up the staircase.”

“Going up. . . there’s another hallway. . . and another stone staircase . . . running now. . . I stumble on the stairs . . . hurt my hand or maybe my knee. . . there’s a door. . . there’s light behind it. . . I push on the door, but it won’t move. . . pushing harder. . I throw my body against the door, but it won’t move. . . my shoulder hurts. . . I’m beating on the door. . I keep pushing . . . it won’t open. . . open! . . . why won’t it open?. . . Why? OPEN!”

“Stop a minute and breathe. . . this is like the movies. . . nothing here can hurt you. . . step back a little. . . tell me about this door.”

“it’s brown, wood, I guess, old. . . I push, why won’t it open. . .“

“Step back a little more back down the stairs. . . can you se the whole door now/”

“Yes.”

“Describe the door.”

“It’s dark brown wood. . . worn. . . round at the top. . . paneled. . .

“Is there anything on the door?’

“I think so. . . yeah. . .there’s a plaque on the crosspiece . . .old and very faded. . .”

“Can you read the plaque?”

“Well maybe. . . if I get down on my knees. . . Yeah. . . it’s definitely a word. . . “

“What does it say. . . “

It’s faint. . . hard to read. . . it says. . . PULL.”

What dreams may come

In dreams our subconscious sometimes reflects our anxiety. I have the “unprepared dream” a lot. You know the one I mean. I’m taking a test I didn’t study for, I’m in an unknown play where I haven’t learned the lines or I’m presenting on a subject I know nothing about. That’s an imposter syndrome dream, a reflection of my insecurity. . . where I am anxious about doing something for which I think I’m unqualified or unprepared.

I don’t have the test dream much anymore. I guess I graduated and the curtain fell on my acting “career” fifty years ago, so those dreams are less frequent. But I retired six years ago and I’m still having unprepared work dreams. I’ve trained myself to wake, tell myself I’m “good enough” and figure out what, if anything, I might need to prepare.

Sometimes our dreams give us a message. Early in my consulting career, I was managing multiple projects, traveling internationally, and working more than a hundred hours per week. I had a recurring dream that I was trying to get over a hill on a skateboard where the wheels kept falling off.

An old friend told me “Fritz Perls, the German Gestalt psychiatrist, said we are all characters in our dream.” Andre encouraged me to “play the hill, me, and the skateboard.” It turned out that I was abusing the skateboard (my body?) and I slowed down and asked for help at work and ended up being more productive.

The dream in the shaggy dog story above is like that. How can you step back and realize where you are your own obstacle. That isn’t to say that genuine obstacles don’t exist, but it is still useful to ask:

What is my part of this problem? How am I getting in my own way? Does my persistence inhibit me?

When you feel like you are “beating your head against a brick wall,” step back, or rise up. Can you go around the wall or over the wall, rather than through it.