The Day After Christmas
When I was growing up in 1950s New England, the day after Christmas was a recovery day. Kids played with toys that weren’t broken yet. If there was snow, boys went outside for sledding, and snowfort snowball fights. If it was cold and not much recent snow we went to the swamp or the Rez for pick-up hockey. Girls went to the Rez to try out pirouettes on those white figure skates with the pom-pom laces.
Parents cleaned up any trash left from the chaos of the day before, ate leftovers, and generally walked around shaking their heads and staring blankly, while muttering, “next year. . . “
When I moved to London, I heard the day called “Boxing Day.” When I inquired, I was told, “Well not so much anymore, but in days past, it was the servants’ Christmas. You see they had to work on the holiday itself, so on Boxing Day, they had the day off. The household delivered a box with presents to the servants’ houses and they had Christmas.”
Some said, ”It was the day you boxed up those clothes and other things that had been replaced by this year’s presents and took them to the church for the poor,” (sort of like “Giving Tuesday”).
Others of my 1979 London Business School classmates described it, as the day “when one used to take presents to tradespeople and shopkeepers.” The implication from all these descriptions was it was a traditional day of giving to others less fortunate, but “less practiced now than it used to be.”
St. Stephen’s Day
Helen O’Sullivan, who lived in the Council flats behind us up near Gladstone Park, told us, “Well, I don’t know nothin’ about that Boxin’ Day stuff. It’s St. Stephen’s Day, doncha know?’
She went on to tell us that St. Stephen was the “very first Christian martyr. It was soon after Jesus died and Stephen was a deacon assigned to hand out food to the widows. Well some didn’t like who was gettin’ what food, and the like, and Stephen, he jest give ‘em what for. There’s a whole speech in the book of Acts in the Bible that the nuns made us memorize when we was kids – ‘T’was a LONG speech – ‘bout how people didn’t treat their prophets right including Jesus who was now dead on the cross. Well – those folks didn’t much like his mouth so they took him out and stoned him t’death. And that’s how he become the first Christian martyr. The nuns said it was a lesson about speakin’ up and speakin’ the truth, but honestly, us kids thought – that didn’t work out too well for Stephen.”
This was the first I heard about St. Stephen’s Day, which is a big holiday in Ireland and Wales and a lot of other countries. Advent, the time before Christmas (December 3rd -24th) is said to bring “God to Man.” The Twelve days of Christmas, of which The Feast of St. Stephen, is the first day, “brings Man to God.”
I only know this stuff through Google searches today; I wasn’t raised with it, but the Twelve Days go all the way to January 6th, Epiphany, the day Casper (Gaspar), Balthazar, and Melchior, arrived to worship Jesus in the manger of his birth. The Magi, these three kings or wisemen, brought gifts (gold, frankincense, and myrrh), and I know there is a whole symbolism about each of the gifts and the kings, but it’s tough to get into someone else’s mythology. The only thing the “Gift of the Magi” brings up for me is the wonderful Guy De Maupassant short story about the poor husband who sells his watch to buy beautiful combs for his wife’s lovely hair. Spoiler alert: She cuts and sells her hair to buy him a watch chain. Pure love.
The Divorced Father’s Christmas
I separated from my first wife when my kids were little. I moved a block away in the same neighborhood so on Christmas Kirsten and I subjected our children to Christmas morning at her house, Christmas afternoon at mine, and then back to her house for Christmas dinner. In retrospect this made Christmas day fraught with an unnecessary “hurry up” schedule for the kids and not insignificant parental conflict.
Most of my divorced male friends celebrate with their kids on December 26th. There is still the kid-indulgence-impact of two Christmases, and the parental conflict about pick up and drop off times, but at least the schedule is less compressed. Perhaps because of that grandparents can participate in one of the two Christmas extravaganzas.
My wife Billie went through this with her children too, with similar angst. All our kids are grown, and have children of their own now. They seem reasonably well-adjusted, despite what was done to them over the holidays. Of course, we don’t sit in their therapists’ chairs and our children were raised to be polite, so what do we know?
Another Day Forward
As regular readers of this blog will know, I have reached the age where I have accepted my mistakes, and try to look forward even when I ruminate on the past. I am grateful for the Christmas gathering of family and friends and am looking forward to the New Year.
I wish for all my readers this same attitude, which, if I am really honest I don’t maintain every day, despite good intentions. The day after Christmas is another day – not just another day, but a blessing.
Perhaps we can carry forward some of the Joy and Peace spirit into the New Year, listen a little more, judge a little less, donate some clothes or foods, or money to those less fortunate than ourselves – in the Boxing Day Spirit?
Another delightful blog from the mind of a master! I never appreciated your with, charm, and intelligence enough when I had the opportunity to work with you. Fortunately, I have had many opportunities since those days at BP to make up for that deficiency. Thank you, Alan, for all these great blogs and posts.
Hi Sandy
Thanks so much -glad you enjoyed it.
Two former consultants turned writers enjoying readng each other’s writing seems fitting. Happy New Year!
Alan